Competition

My sisters started blogging. And they're funny. And witty. But it's not fair. They have secret weapons. They have an endless supply of stories about a child barfing in their face in the middle of the night, pictures of little babies that make you want to vom they're so cute, and they can talk about all the flatulence they had when they were pregnant (sorry, a little heavy on bodily functions ...) .

I don't have kids (or a pregnancy). But I do have stories about baking Kringla that was so gross my mom tried it and spit it out (it's a conspiracy ... I still maintain she didn't give me the right recipe), coworkers kicking the exercise ball I sit on at work in hopes that I fall off, and even stories about having a dance party for one while doing dishes and pretending that I'm in the middle of a circle of people who are all cheering because of my sweet, sweet moves.

So, yea. You guys have those stories to look forward to ...

Buns in the oven

So today I overheard a coworker talking to her child on the phone -- it was really sweet. She called her little girl 'peanut' in an uber makes-you-want-to-puke-because-it's-so-cute endearing voice. When she got off the phone the other women around her told her that the nickname was so cute (she had used this nickname for her little girl since she was pregnant), she also said she'll sometimes call her daughter 'monkey' - which made the other women giggle with child-nickname envy.

Now, I don't have a baby, nor am I currently pregnant (the world isn't ready for crazy Liv babies) but when my sister was pregnant with my niece, we didn't call her 'peanut'...or 'monkey'...no, we called that little bun-in-her-oven 'BB'. "What does BB stand for Liv?' You might ask. I'll tell you what it stands for. 'Baby Burrito'. That's what it stands for. My sister craved burritos for days upon days straight...so, naturally, 'baby burrito' was the logical name here. And yes, even after she craved burritos we still kept calling that beautiful fetus 'BB'. We wouldn't have dreamed of calling the baby 'baby casserole' or 'baby caviar' or even 'baby cheeseburger with pickles and onions'.

Now BB has turned into Gracie...a half-crazed, no-fear, jump off a piano into a vat of piranhas in pink dresses two-year-old who never does anything I tell her to unless I buy her Dora stick-on fingernails....and I love her.

Dentist

Dearest babushkas,

I went to the dentist yesterday.

I'm not ready to talk about it yet.

Zen-ing

So last night I did yoga. I love yoga. (then why don't you marry it? seriously guys, are we 4?). After I do yoga at night I am totally at peace. I'm the zen master......I make zen my biznitch.

I'm so chill that you could probably ask me whatever you wanted and I would say yes.

you: Liv, can I borrow $10,000?

me: Yea, sure, here's my bank account number.

you: Liv, can I loan out your room to a petting zoo and then you would have to sleep with a bunch of nipping/squawking penguins and poo-flinging monkeys?

me: Yes, I love animals

you: I think you should adopt a baby and name it buckethead.

me: Ok, that's a beautiful name.

I also love Rodney Yee. He's a yoga instructor who's uber-calm and totally awesome. But the video I did last night didn't have Rodney Yee in it. Which is sad. Because I like him.

Work it girl

So I drew a picture of how I picture myself when I'm rocking out. (naturally, this is a fairly accurate representation). Please follow the numbers and explanations.

Is that how you spell bustier? My spell check isn't catching it...so I guess that means I'm awesome.

(Does anybody else do this? Picture yourself rocking out while you're working out? Because if you don't, seriously try it...I burned at least 10 more calories because of it...I also almost ran off the treadmill a couple times...luckily my gym is overrun with elderly people...so no cute boys to make a fool of myself in front of...also no cute boys to help me up if I actually were to run off the treadmill........).

I'm getting really sick of my workout music. Any suggestions?

This or that

Approximately three days ago, my BFF Angie (take no offense other BFF's, there's room for all of you in my heart) asked me this deep question:

would you rather own a yard with miniture lawn ornaments (gnomes) or a yard with miniature animals roaming?**

**Yes, you do have to scoop the animals poop...but it's miniature.

How cute would this be to wake up to everyday.

Would you get creeped out by this?

I am still so crafty

Remember this? I took inspiration and modified it a smidge, and made this!

I also finished a scarf I had been working on for a bit. It's big and chunky and perfect! I wore it on errands yesterday and I was totally warm. (Hey, where's Liv?! Just kidding. I didn't wear it like this. Maybe. No. I really didn't. I did though, and I couldn't see driving. I had to have someone lead me around the whole time. Seriously, I hope you didn't believe me).

Single ladies

So a couple of my awesome friends made me this picture. Isn't perfection?

In honor of Beyonce, here is a video you HAVE to watch. Seriously. (I can't embed it, so you'll just have to go to the link). BEYONCE VIDEO

Sadly, Beyonce is no longer with me. I took her to the shelter a couple weeks ago. It was hard, but I think it was for the best. I hope she finds a good home. I told the lady there where I found her and how long she'd been with me, and then I told her that I had named her 'Beyonce'. The lady laughed and said they would keep that name.

SQUEAL!

So when I got back from work there was a package sitting on the counter (not that kind of package, pervert). And I was pretty sure I knew what it was, so I ran over to it (while going ‘eeeeeeeee’) and opened it and ‘gasp’ it was the family calendar that I had designed and then was going to get printed but it was too expensive so then I was going to have my mom print it at home but she couldn’t get the ink to work right (stupid home printer) so then she took it to Winnebago industries (the place that makes motorhomes but also prints people’s family calendars) and they said they would print it and then they did and then she said that she sent them out and one of my sisters said she got it but I was sad because I hadn’t gotten it but then I GOT IT! oh.em.gee.

Sorry. My roommates are asleep and I have to share this with someone. And I knew you guys would appreciate it. Right? I hope so.

This is the cover.

Here’s my page.

A closer look.

This isn’t my typical design style, but I just love it so much because it’s my family.

Man. Seriously. Cloud nine. That's where I am. I don't even know where it is. But I'm there.

Now I'm going to snuggle up in my bed and continue knitting this awesome chunky-uber-warm-grey scarf and watch Big Bang Theory. Man I love you guys.

I am so crafty

I am soooooo crafty! Crafty crafty crafty!

Today I went to Hobby Lobby and got some awesome paper and envelopes so that I can make the most kick ass valentine's day cards! (did you know valentine's day is my birthday? I think that's why I like it so much....)

This is my inspiration: totally cute right?

I finished this project a few weeks ago -- isn't the wreath fantastic? (the postcard was one my friend made in her printmaking class --- they go well together, no?)

and a close up:

If you want to make one, here is a link to the tutorial: http://www.domestifluff.com/2009/11/how-to-make-a-ruffly-felt-rosette-wreath/

Also, how darn-tootin cute do I look today? (I usually don't honk my own horn...but...toot toot!) I'm not feeling so hot (my throats has been clogged for a few days), so I ate soup and got all cute for work. (note: I didn't wear the heels to work....just some cute flats...but I prefer the heels). I feel a little better.

This little guy is helping to hold the right side of my cardigan up. I love him.

UPDATE: I decided to order two boxes of caramel delights, one box of thin mints and one box of peanut butter patties. Overall I'm very happy with my purchases.