Plastic

Last Friday I took my car in for an oil change. Once they were done they had me come back...to show me the bottom of my car...(because everything under there makes sense to me of course). So I got to see the underbelly of Betty (my car). At first it was cool, like something forbidden. Like a child sneaking downstairs to steal jelly beans from the drawer where her mom hides them (and she thinks her children don't know). But then I felt as if I was violating Betty by looking at her innards (it also felt unnatural to have Betty 8ft in the air). I mean, Betty and I don't have that kind of relationship. The only reason I would pop the hood would be because smoke was pouring out and on movies I've seen people pop the hood because smoke is pouring out, or maybe to make it look like I had a problem so the hot guy in a white t-shirt and jeans would come over and help me. And the only reason I would look at her underbelly is because the guy who changed my oil told me to.

Anyway, I asked them about the Smack noise - remember? - they looked around, doing their mechanic-y thing, and they told me it was plastic. Seriously. Plastic. Then, they showed me where it was. And, by golly, the plastic by the tire on the right side was scuffed and ripped! They said they couldn't fix it (the whole front bumper would have to be replaced), so I'll just have to deal. Which I totally can!

Now, I write this letter of apology to the three mechanics who told me it was plastic that was making the noise and I didn't' believe them.

Dear mechanics who told me that funny noise was plastic and I didn't believe you:

I apologize for not believing you. But for my sake, you told me that you'd fixed it...when really you hadn't. That's why I didn't think it was plastic, and that was why, when I got home, I told my family mean things about you behind your back. And for that I apologize too.

Sincerely,

Liv

And this letter is for the people who showed me Betty's underbelly

Dear Midas:

Thank you for letting me check Betty's underbelly. Was it because I have short hair and look like boy that you took me seriously? Thank you for showing me the plastic thingy that really was making the noise. Now I won't call you a liar. Also, thank you for not adjusting my seat when you drove my car into the shop. I really appreciate getting into the car and being able to reach the peddles (Because even though I am slightly on the shorter side of height, they always seem to find the person who is at least 7'3" and has to pull my review mirror off because it doesn't go high enough for them to see out the back window, to drive my car)

Sincerely,

Liv

There's a hole in the bucket

Yesterday was a pathetic day. You know when you have those days that even if things aren't bad you just feel pathetic? Like having a pity party? That was my day. Except something went wrong in the morning. And that spiraled me into a fit a pathetic-ness. It's my car. Poor Betty (that's her name). Let me tell you the story.

It was 10:03 am, and I had packed my huge purse with my computer and lion king lunchbox (with homemade chicken noodle soup!), put everything in my car, and went to shift into reverse. Let me stop here to tell you that I've been working out. Ok, on with the story. So I went to shift into reverse and the shifter came off. Really. It did. (that's why I told you I'd been working out, because I guess I'm so buff that I can break off the shifter). I panicked. Then I didn't. Then I panicked again. Then I calmed down. Then I tried to put it back together. I could get it to connect enough that I could get into any gear but reverse. Which was a problem. You see, I was far enough in on my driveway that I could not roll back onto the street. Being a quick thinker, I decided to make a u-turn over the grass and onto my neighbors driveway...it worked! Then I proceeded down to the place I get my car fixed. I went in and told them "My shifter is broken." They looked at me funny, sent someone out to look at my car and told me they had no idea what was going on, and that I needed to go to Ford. So, I went to Ford. I went in and said "My shifter is broken." He looked at me funny, came out to see, and told me that he'd never seen that before. Long story short (although I think it's too late for that now), they called me later in the day and told me how much it would be to fix it....I won't tell you how much, but it was over $5...way over $5. Then said they were going to rush order the parts because they were in a basement in Mississippi. Seriously. A basement in Mississippi. You know why? Because nobody ever breaks their shifter. Ok, they didn't say that last part...but they could of.

For your viewing enjoyment I've included some pictures. The first is what it usually looks like (please don't mind the empty coffee in the background, it takes me a while to clean out my car). The other two are of the shifter and the new poses it can do because I broke it.

It's all greek to me.

It's not that I don't like cars, it's just I'm fairly neutral about the subject...and the fact that I don't understand them at all. Lately though, my car has been making noises. I hate taking my car in to get it fixed, I'm always paranoid they're either going to say, "I'm really sorry to tell you this, but that little noise you were hearing was actually the sparktugger from the extralatory side of the engine...and we did all we could, but she can't be fixed. You're going to have to let her go." or they're going to say "yea, that huge ga-lunk you were hearing whenever you turned your steering wheel to the left about 40 degrees and ran over two potholes in a row means that there's a two-by-two inch metal prong that needs to be fixed. But because of the location and time it takes to get to it, including the fact that we need to take your whole car apart and need about 8 men to help, it's going to cost you about $5,995.32"

While I realize these two scenarios may be a little far fetched, my paranoid brain comes up with them. Ok, so here are the noises my car is making:

1. Thwack - This noise happens mainly when I'm turning. For example, if I'm pulling into my driveway (which is a slight uphill, then a plateau), as soon as the wheel is cranked I hear "THWACK". Now, I've taken it in before and they've told me that this is a piece of plastic that is loose. So they said they fixed that piece of plastic. Three different car people/mechanics/liars who try to take your money because you know nothing about a car have fixed this "piece of plastic".

2. Gachunga (it took me a while to figure out how to write that one out...it's a little low repeating sound) - This just happened fairly recently...after they had fixed the 'piece of plastic'. It sounds like something is loose, and just rattling around.

3. Rumba-rumba - This is somewhat ongoing and a little hard to hear at times (my trunk is a little squeaky...that's another issue though). It happens when I'm going slow and I go over a bump, it kind of goes RUMBA, RUMBA, RUMBA.

Now just imagine me trying to explain all of these noises, with hand actions mind you, to the mechanic.

Maybe I should just get a bicycle.