The Past

I have a confession. I'm not quite sure how to tell you guys this. It's kind of like baring my soul...something pretty private...something of the past that will tell you a little more about who I am today. Instead of making you guess blindfolded, I'll give you multiple choice.

a. I used to have an obsession with lavender colored sequins

b. One time I gagged on a handful of lima beans

c. I was a football cheerleader in 7th grade

If you guessed C you're right! And if you guessed B you're right too! If you guessed A...come on...lavender? I'm rethinking my opinion of you.

I'm not going to talk about gagging on lima beans, instead I'm going to talk about my cheerleading days. I was a beautiful cheerleader. I looked very posh in my red outfit with my hair in two french braids. I could yell like a person on fire and memorize cheers like I was expecting a pop quiz! I could also only jump about 4 inches off the ground. Ok, sorry, that was an exaggeration. It's only about 2 inches off the ground.

I can't jump. I have no vertical. It doesn't help that I'm short (my middle school gym teacher measured me at 5'7" in 8th grade, my high school gym teacher measured me at 5'5" in 9th grade and a couple months later the doc told me I was 5'3 3/4"...somebody's got it wrong, because I'm pretty sure I'm not shrinking), but for some reason gravity is a jealous ex-lover and wants to keep me down.

I don't want to subject you to a video of me jumping, so I give you a diagram (notice the cute skirt I'm wearing, with chunky heals, simple t-shirt and wonderful smile).

Maybe if I was flexible I could at least do the splits, then people wouldn't care if i could jump. I wish I was as flexible as these women.